She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

“Every man’s must-read. Tell your guy to put down the remote and pick up She Comes First.”

—Cosmopolitan

Ian Kerner offers a radical new philosophy for pleasuring women in She Comes First—an essential guidebook to oral sex from the author of Be Honest—You’re Not That Into Him Either. The New York Times praises Kerner’s “cool sense of humor and an obsessive desire to inform,” as he “encourages men through an act that many find mystifying.” An indispensable aid to a healthier, more fulfilling sex life for her and him, She Comes First offers techniques and philosophy that have already earned raves from the likes of bestselling author and Loveline co-host Dr. Drew Pinsky as well as Playgirl magazine, which cheers, “Hallelujah!”

“When it comes to pleasuring women and conversing in the language of love, cunnilingus should be every man’s native tongue,” writes clinical sexologist Ian Kerner, Ph.D. in She Comes First, a straightforward, intimate, and exuberant guide to cunnilingus. Kerner first explored “the oral caress” as a way of compensating for his “sexual inadequacies,” and quickly learned that women not only welcomed but often preferred “the way of the tongue,” reaching orgasm more consistently than through intercourse. Kerner educates readers about the clitoris, “the powerhouse of pleasure,” with 18 parts and 8,000 nerve endings (twice as many as the penis) and describes female sexual response from “foreplay” through “coreplay” to “moreplay.” A large part of the book is a graphic, detailed primer on “mouth music,” including best positions, step-by-step techniques (illustrated), and tips for tongue and fingers. How long should this last? Until the woman has an orgasm or many, says Kerner, and “melts blissfully before your eyes.” “The vast majority of women complain about guys who don’t like to do it, don’t know how to do it, or simply don’t do it nearly enough,” writes Kerner. This book will change that. Women: Buy it for your partner! –Joan Price

Table of Contents

Part 1 – The Elements of Sexual Style
1 – She Comes First
2 – Her Clitoris
3 – Think Outside Her Box
4 – The Female Orgasm
5 – The Tongue I s Mightier Than the Sword
6 – Her Inner Goddess
7 – Avoid Freud
8 – What’s in a Name?
9 – Female Sexual Anatomy Part 1
10 – Female Sexual Anatomy Part 2
11 – Avoid “G-Spotty” Logic
12 – Female Ejaculation
13 – How Wet Is Wet?
14 – Aristotle and the Poetics of Arousal
15 – A Synopsis of Female Sexual Response
16 – Scent and Sensibility
17 – We’ve Come a Long Way…
18 – …But Proceed with Caution
19 – Eat Right
20 – The Cunnilinguist Manifesto

Part 2 – Rules of Usage
21 – A Note on the Play Process
22 – Foreplay
23 – Introducing Coreplay
24 – Getting into Position
25 – Top Ten Hot Spots in the Clitoral Network
26 – The First Kiss
27 – Establishing Rhythm
28 – Developing Tension Part 1
29 – Time Flies
30 – Developing Tension Part 2
31 – Escalating the Action Part 1
32 – Two’s Company
33 – The Interlude
34 – Escalating the Action Part 2
35 – A Stitch in Time
36 – Preorgasm Part 1
37 – Preorgasm Part 2
38 – Posterior Pizzazz
39 – Preorgasm Part 3
40 – A Note for Those Stuck Without an Ending
41 – The Female Orgasm
42 – Moreplay
43 – Seamless Transitions
44 – Achieving Simultaneity
45 – Don’t Forget Your Epilogue

Part 3 – Putting it All Together
46 – The Substance of Style
47 – Routines: A Cheat Sheet
48 – Routines: Beginner to Advanced